empty

demons are feeding on my soul, where there once was a heart, is now just a gaping black hole. void of all emotions yet feeling such pain, trying to heal with with pills n potions trying to feel numb I need to feel something I will take it any way it comes. drugs, pain, sex or attention from men, I need to feel valued, somehow validated, when will it all end? I'm sinking lower and lower, I'm drowning I know longer know what I am thinking standing in front of the mirror disgusted by my own reflection I can understand why ppl leave me I finally understand their rejection.. maybe it's something I need to accept maybe I'm just unloveable maybe I'm simply inept try as I may i can't seem to get it right I always lose at the end of the day where is my self worth where is my confidence why am I trapped in this hell on Earth where is my family that I love so much is this my destiny stripped of motherhood constantly thinking of ending it all oh, how I I wish I could I just want to be normal again to feel accepted and wanted but all I get is looked upon with disdain nothing is ever good enough I want to be gentle, soft and sweet but forced to be tough Lord heal my heart ease my spirit show me where to start I'm tired of tired of harsh words being talked down too ppl don't realize the tongue is a sword already feeling low cast out and forgotten Im unable to handle another blow I want to run away but left with no options so I'm forced to stay pushed back into the same ol grind same ol same ol It happens every time I want to surrender stop trying to please just go out on a bender who cares what people think of me Im obviously ever gonna get it right so this must be my destiny